Balancing Flying with Family
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Balancing Flying with Family
editorial
If you are a family man or woman, you need to balance your flying activities with your home-life.
Certainly every situation is different so many of these points won’t apply. If your whole family is into flying, you are probably in the best possible position and the envy of many aviators. For the rest of us, pay careful attention.
I find myself in an interesting scenario; neither my wife or my kids like to fly. This is the opposite end of the spectrum.
As a general rule, you should make sure that your “obsession” doesn’t cause resentment among the other people in your tribe; consider this the end-state you are looking for.
There are really two key consumables in play – time and money.
Going overboard and spending every waking moment at the airport won’t promote marital bliss. Same goes for spending ever dime you have (plus some) at the sacrifice of you loved ones.
“Everything in moderation” is an old saying that I have to repeat to myself a lot!
This isn’t always easy when you have goals like building an airplane or chasing a rating.
You don’t have to give up your dreams, but you do need to be smart about it. If you have a goal that is going to require an extraordinary commitment, talk it over with your spouse and come to an understanding as a team. It’s common sense, but so is most of the advice you pay for in marriage counseling.
A little consideration goes a long way.
Some tips for working with the reluctant partner:
Prep the battlefield
- Don’t spring a big life-changing project on them at once
Collaborate with them on the plan
- Shoving your intentions down their throat will not yield good results
When able, make your family part of the process
- I included my wife and kids as much as possible into my recent airplane project
If they have different goals, support them
- My wife likes horses so I shoveled lots of manure
Read the tea leaves
- You should recognize when he/she is getting frustrated. I have gotten better at this with time; after 13 yrs of marriage I have it dialed in
Modulate as necessary
- If you are using too much time (or money), back off a little. You aren’t capitulating, but rather retreating to fight another day.
Seems like a lot of work, but if you want to pursue your passions and stay happily married, it’s a small price to pay.
Feel free to share your thoughts below.
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I’m one of the VERY LUCKY ones. My Bride loves to fly, all be it “transportation” to her. Mary loves the travel and new places to visit without dealing with the drive. Fly time means more vacation time and less stress to/from.
I still monitor the $pending. I want to upgrade to WAAS but her health and work situation means house funding and home projects come first. It’s a balance we have to deal with. I try to put myself in her shoes, figuratively of course, and with that take a look at how much flying we do and not spew flying 24/7. I find the less I bring it up the more she talks it up to her friends and family, kind of a neat twist.
Gary,
Great story! You are a lucky man indeed!
Brent
I have been blessed with a wife that supports my flying. Although, she does not personally enjoy flying she loves seeing the thrill it brings me. Now as a father of two I look to share aviation with my kids but also balance things so aviation does not take up to large of a roll either.
Todd,
That’s cool! It makes a huge difference to have that support!
Brent